Demolition

People are right. It is hard to build a house. Even once you've got it built, you're constantly trying to tweak it. Change the windows, put in new carpeting, knock this wall down, knock that wall down, put that wall up, add stairs here, add a window there, push the yard back further, bring the yard in, paint the outside, paint the inside, add a garage, fill the garage with boxes so you have to add a driveway for the cars. It can sometimes seem like the house just isn't right. Sometime you can work so hard on it that all you see anymore are the individual corrections you've made, but not the house as a whole anymore. You see the scratches in the paint over there, the new floorboard in the hallway, the patched roof, the basketball hoop in the back yard. You see all the changes, one piled on top of the other, but just don't recognize the house anymore. And the harder you try to make it into the house you've dreamed of, the more it takes another shape. It is at this point that you realize that only thing left to do is knock the foundation out from under it and start over again.

I'm not saying this is what you should do or what one should always do. I'm just saying that sometimes it's the only thing left to do.

Countdown...

3 hours left. 7 pages written. 1 small container of cottage cheese eaten. 1/2 cup of black tea with sugar already seeping down my alimentary canal. Approximately 8 grapes chewed and swallowed. At least 4 trips to the bathroom in the past 12 hours. 45-minute nap time, which resulted in a 3-hour nap after constant resetting of the alarm. 5 windows open on my computer screen, and 5 piles of paper surrounding me to provide me with an inflow of information.

I will be glad when this is over and my life slims back down to the more important things in life, like eating and sleeping.

All we are saying, is give peace a chance!

Okay, so I'm a bit early this time. My paper isn't due for another 37 1/2 hours (and counting), so technically this isn't proper procrastination. I just really, really wish there was peace in the world. I want all the nations on this planet to get along, all the ethnic groups within those nations to get along, and every other possible conflicting factions to just STOP IT and hug each other. If all that really would happen, then I wouldn't be sitting here trying to gather useful information on a paper discussing "Peacekeeping and Building in the United Nations." No, sir. The least the world could do for me is just this one favor. Really, have I asked of it that much before (the answer is no, to those of you who are wondering about past requests during other painful paper-writing episodes).

I guess the easier wish would be for Friday afternoon at 4pm to be here already. Then I will have completed my very last class for my bachelor's degree. I think that might be a pretty cool feeling.

No Pain, No Gain

It had been about 6 days since I went on a jog. As usual, I sat in my chair and came up with about 43 reasons why I shouldn't jog. I'm too busy. I have too much to do today. I might miss something important somewhere else... a phone call perhaps. Maybe my apartment building will suddenly catch fire... who will be there to put it out?? But in the end I realized that for my own sake, I should go. So, I grabbed my keys, strapped my iPod to my left arm, and made a determined trip down the stairs to the street. The beginning part of a jog is never that bad. It's kind of exhilarating, actually. The music starts off at a good beat, I am still full of life, full of energy, full of optimism.

Man, how those feelings quickly fade. About 2 minutes and 20 seconds into the jog, my legs feel like they're made of lead. When I try to breathe, I feel like a fish out of water. Why aren't my lungs functioning properly? Is this NORMAL?? How come everyone else around me doesn't try to help me?!? Can't they see that I'm in PAIN??!!!!

So I slow my pace a bit. That is how I have been jogging lately: for time, not distance or speed. I want to jog for as long as possible, just to keep my heart rate up for as long as possible, even if it's not the fastest I can get it to. And today, I pushed my record a bit further. But I'll tell you what my time was at the end, otherwise you'll know how the story goes and will probably stop reading right now. So as I made my way down the path, past the river, and along the Maschsee (Masch Lake), some girl decided she would pass me. Okay fine, I can handle the people on bicycles passing me. But a fellow jogger? Please... it's already hard enough to even get myself out there. Why does she need to dishearten me by going by me... and at about double the speed I'm doing...??? So I just shouted after her, "Yeah?! Well, I'm going for TIME, not DISTANCE or SPEED!!" Feeling better after clarifying everything, I put a smile back on my face (which, while jogging, resembles more of an awkward smirk) and continued along. Before I knew it, I had been passed by at least 3 or 4 more people. I knew that perhaps jogging wasn't my greatest strength when I was passed by a woman who was seriously no younger than 83 years old. Well, good for you Grandma, but can't you see how you're sucking the motivation out of me? Clearly no one else in Hannover runs for time. However, I am proud to say that I was able to lap at least 20 people throughout the jog. I don't need to mention that they were jogging in the opposite direction, do I? It felt good passing them so quickly. It's like one minute they were in front of me, and then in the blink of an eye.... gone!

I was reminded of other times, in high school or in college, when I was not always the one at the front of the running line (... fine, I was the last one at the back). I remember telling everyone around me that I really just run to make everyone else feel better about themselves. I mean, someone has to be last. So I choose to bear that burden, just so my fellow runners can be encouraged and know that they are doing a better job than at least one other person. During today's jog, I realized that I have the gift of reaching out to people of all ages. Not only do I encourage the young, but also those who would otherwise be almost on their deathbed. I take pride in my social diversity.

When I finally finished my jog, I hit the pause button on my iPod to stop the stopwatch. How long, you might ask? I had beat my last record by 30 seconds!! So today's final time was 44 minutes. Sweeeeet. THAT, my friends, is how you jog for time. Given the pace I was going, I probably jogged at least a good half-mile. So I headed up the stairs again, and even skipped over a stair or two... you know, just to throw in a little extra cardio work... and got to my room. Sweaty and exhausted, I took my shoes and socks off, only to find that a new bubble blister had formed just under the arch of my right foot... somehow in the middle of another one that was still there from last week. I've been noticing that with these shoes lately. I've had them for 2 years, which is pretty typical for me. But the past 4 or 5 times I've gone jogging in them, I get blisters. I wonder if it's because I need new shoes, or because my feet aren't accustomed to Time Jogging... but rather the 15-minute mile Speed Jogging I used to blaze through in them before. Either way, the thought entered my head: no pain, no gain. Which I chose to translate as: the more pain, the more gain. And what is better than one blister? TWO blisters!! I obviously have gained a lot today.

So I ask you now to look at your body. Do you have any blisters? An ingrown toenail, perhaps? A scab or scratch or bruise or even a broken rib? Well... you obviously gained something for going through such pain. Why else would we experience pain? Surely not because pain is a series of nerve endings sending signals to one another until they reach the brain and register in our minds as being pain. No, that doesn't make sense. It must be because we gained something in the process. Today, I gained losing 44 minutes of my life that I will never be able to get back. What a GREAT feeling. I'll trade 44 minutes of my life for 2 blisters any day.

And just for fun, in case you want to youtube the songs or Limewire them or any other internet site that has been turned into a verb... here is my current jogging mix, which changes often:

Muse - Sunburn
Jay-Z featuring Linkin Park - Encore
Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around Comes Around
The Kooks - Naive
2raumwohnung - Ich und Elaine
Jay-Z featuring Beyonce - Me and My Girlfriend
Feist - Mushaboom
The Kooks - She Moves in Her Own Way
Green Day - Holiday
U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday
The Offspring - The Kids Aren't Alright
Eminem - Lose Yourself
Incubus - Wish You Were Here
Cheryl Lynn - Got to Be Real

Good, fast beats. I'm looking to weed out some of them, but need them on there till I find others to replace them with. I'm open to suggestions, providing the beat is fast enough to keep me going. Just to give you a guide, I run at about 4 steps per minute. Do something for your heart today.

My Fellow Procrastinators...

Anyone who has ever been my roommate, or been in contact with me the night before I have a major assignment due, knows that I can be quite the procrastinator. Tonight for example, I should be working on a paper for my Theories of European Integration class that's due tomorrow. But it made more sense to me to start a blog. I have thought about doing it anyway. I used to have one several years back. But I want this to be a place for you and I to come together and procrastinate. You don't have to track my blog on a daily basis, since I likely won't write that often. But when those times come when there's something you REALLY need to be doing... that is when you will instead be inclined to turn your computer on, sit down with a nice cup of hot tea, and click into your bookmarks (where the link for this blog should be) and visit my blog. This is a safe place for you and I. Somewhere to escape from the outside world and its pressures and deadlines, so that we can come together with the common goal of merely... thinking. I have no clue what words I will have to keep you entertained. I can imagine that most of the time they will be rather uncreative, uninspiring. But you never know when you'll find a good nugget. I might blog once a month. I might blog three times in one day. I apologize ahead of time for the inconsistency. But I will be here, and I will read your comments... the many millions that will undoubtedly flood these posts. Don't ever doubt my loyalty to you, or my commitment to procrastination. If it wasn't for my supreme ability to procrastinate, there are a lot of things I would never have done. Any time my entire room was rearranged happened the night before a big exam or paper was due. And had I never rearranged my room.... god, who knows how my life would be now.

Surely now you understand the importance of procrastination. Join me. Read my words. Write me your thoughts. Let's share this experience together. Let's... procrastinate.