Mouse

Troggle seems to be surviving not having new toys. She caught, tortured for about two hours, and killed an adorable little mouse. Despite not being a vegetarian, I don't deal too well with animals in pain. I can't watch the stampede scene in Lion King, hate when Bambi's mom or dad or whoever it was dies. And couldn't handle hearing little squeaks outside my door this morning. But I distracted myself because I didn't have the willpower or emotional energy to deal with it and put the mouse out of its misery myself. I reminded myself that it's the whole balance of life. Predators and prey and all that. Natural selection. Now there's a mouse with its innards exposed laying in my hallway. ...just put him in a plastic bag til I know what to do next. My stomach has dropped... I feel sad and also confused at why this is affecting me. I think I'll bury him in the backyard, 'cause I'm not sure what else to do with a dead mouse. I don't want him stinking up my garbage can, plus my guess is he was a cool mouse, and a cool mouse deserves a funeral.

Troggle

So one of my cats, Troggle, has taken up playing with toys again. Except that I only have one cat toy left anymore... it's a little brown mouse with green ears and black, beady eyes. So for about a week now, the mouse has been completely torn apart, and only the white cottony stuff that was on the inside is left on the floor. So she keeps playing with white cottony stuff, rolling around with it, biting it, tossing it in the air. ...am I a horrible Mama that needs to finally buy another toy? Or is Troggle thrilled that she finally gutted the mouse, and simply loves tossing the innards of her prey around in the air all the time? I don't want to rob her of this joy by distracting her with a new toy if that is the case.

In other news, after asking a bar owner I've become familiar with if I could play a gig at her place, she said instead I can host an open mic night, and then I'll get to play my songs intermittently between the other artists who show up. !! That's as good as a gig to me. Except that I have to host the night, and I don't really know what that involves or should involve. Also, she wants a name for the night, and I was just thinking it would be called Open Mic at Stray Bar (it's called Stray Bar - they're a dog-friendly bar). But I'm wondering if she wants something more catchy? Anyway, suggestions are beyond welcome. Also, anyone who reads this that lives remotely close to San Francisco must get in contact with me so I can give you more info about it, because you HAVE TO COME SUPPORT ME. Matt, my wonderful brother, I know you live in England, but that's no excuse. It's also no excuse, because I've scheduled the night for November 30th, when you will be here visiting me!!!! So you'll finally get to see me play my songs! Or a handful of them, anyway.

Anyway, I think he's the only one who reads my blog that'll be able to attend. The rest of you live far away. Or stopped reading. So... good things happening in my life. :)

Back at it

Finally back at it. It seems that when I'm in a relationship, I don't blog as much. Freshly out of a long (long for me) relationship and find myself rediscovering my blog again. Why? Do I simply want to be heard?... by anyone that'll read? I think I actually process what I'm thinking better when I unleash my fingers on a keyboard. They type a little faster than my brain processes things, so I often find myself talking to myself, if you know what I mean.

I don't have anything profound to say this time around- simply announcing that I'm alive and back. The purpose of this blog was to be a procrastination tool. I hope it still fully serves that purpose, for both you and me. Without school in my life anymore (for the past few years now), I lack opportunity to procrastinate. Tonight I guess it's sleep that I'm putting off. Sometimes I'm just not ready to end my day. Even when my body's tired, and I'm safe in my home and have hours and hours ahead of me to enjoy beautiful rest. I sometimes still feel this compelling need to stay awake and direct my thoughts... somewhere. To someone. Or no one at all. The recipient is irrelevant. What's key is that the thoughts get written out... that the thoughts keep coming, and sleep waiting in the near distance.

All this talk about all these thoughts, and I have none to produce tonight. Well, I'm back anyway, and hopefully back again soon with... actual thoughts.